As if Valentine’s Day – dubbed “V-Day” by those unimpressed by either its sucrose-saturated, schmoopy, and saccharine nature, its commercialized evolution, or both – isn’t enough reason to LOVE (or despise) February, then what about the “Carnivalrous” Mardi Gras (that’s Fat Tuesday in the English language, or Shrove Tuesday and/or Pancake Tuesday in England and throughout the Commonwealth countries) to be held on February 16th this year?

Winter is behind us (and hopefully our behinds are not larger) while spring is on the way; it’s time to celebrate, no? Thus February is a perfect hedonist’s month-long holiday. Until the Christian Lent, that is. So, before the hard times come, its time for sugar, lard, eggs, debauchery, and general revelry.

These are doughnuts ... kicked up a notch.

Then there are the Polish p?czki [poonch' key]. Along the same lines as Pancake Tuesday (i.e., soon we’ll be fasting, repenting, and generally miserable, so bring on the sugary-starchy stuff and consume it up so there’s less temptation come Lent) the p?czek (the singular form of p?czki) is pure decadence – think of the most Homerrific doughnut you can. Then add even more lard and sugar to it and make sure its filled with Bavarian cream, raspberry jam, lemon curd, or – new this year – chocolate cream. Oh, and topped with a glaze or some sugar or another. Trust me, dear hedonists – these things are ab fab (that’s “absolutely fabulous”) and highly recommended. What’s more, the price is right: only $1.99 (make that $1.69 all this week at Metropolitan Market, although these 400-calorie-plus beauties used to be $1.49 last year) – so it shouldn’t hurt your pocketbook.

If there’s a little culinary voyeur in you, and you’d rather watch them be consumed that consume them yourself, head over to the Admiral Metropolitan Market on Fat Tuesday (again, that’s February 16) and witness its second-annual “P?czkipalooza” – a p?czki-eating contest, of all decadent things! (Note that the contestants are employees of Metro Market, in case you were getting any bright ideas.) All this is the brainchild of Metropolitan Market’s Darrell Vannoy, whose Midwestern work experience in the grocery industry caused him to import this eating contest (for p?czki are HUGE in the Midwest).

They may be sugar-filled (and topped), but don’t worry for your hips, dear hedonists. After all, why the heck do you think it’s called FAT Tuesday? Even here, balance is key: you splurge now and fast once it’s over. (Whether or not you observe Lent.)

Until the next, splurge, that is … because hey, life’s too short not to be hedonistic.

There’s always Easter.